Semi-Deep Thoughts by The Prytania Kid

I thought I’d try to start capturing the weird inner world of what’s it like to be me.

** If you own a pair of cats, you’ll never be frightened by things that go bump in the night **

** So where does the little red thingie go when the olive ripens **

** I believe in keeping my friends close and letting my enemies know that I could snap at any minute **

** An old saying goes something like “A beautiful thing is never perfect”, but I say that Perfection is always a beautiful thing **

** We were born with 1 tongue and 2 ears. So why is it that most people I’ve met in my life speak a lot more than they listen. **

** When what you want doesn’t happen, try a big juicy rationalization **

** When does Elvis ever get into the building? **

** A wounded spirit will always infect the heart **

**  If life is a highway, I would like to begin repaving the roads  **

** Woman is to Grape as Man is to Banana **

** No one ever asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Was it that obvious?  **

** Call me Crazy **

**  Everyday is not a blessing….some days are pure Hell **

**  If you want to be reminded that you’re still alive, just read the Obituaries  **

**  Life is dreams that are re-directed  **

**  Enough really is never enough  **

**  I hope to reach the age when it’s appropriate to say ‘at my age’  **

**  Celebrate life if your major concern is being out of milk  **

**  I once tried making my money work for me, but my boss called me back into work after only a couple of days  **

**  It’s always 3am in the deep, dark recesses of your soul. **

** Beauty may be skin-deep, but Love will lead you to the Soul. **

** I once tried to get too much…but I stopped because I got tired.  I ended up with just much.  **

** Behind every able man, there’s a woman kicking him in the ass **

** If your strength is small, don’t carry heavy burdens.  If your words are worthless, shut the heck up!  **

** Someone that sleeps too much probably is a dreamer **

** Whoever said that the journey is the reward never got to kick their kids out of the house  **

** Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for the day.  Teach a man to fish and he’ll borrow all your worms.  **

** You never have to predict your future if you create it **

** Want to learn to hate war?  Send your kids off to one **

** I’ve heard it said that it’s better to be wise than to be smart.  This might be true, but I’ve never met a stupid wise person.  **

** The sooner we wake up and smell the coffee, the sooner we’ll have to wash the dishes **

** To make a great omelette, you need to satisfy a few hens **

** With only one eye, I can still see the way and with no eyes, I can still see the light  **

** Tornadoes have always hated trailers and always will **

** Love – you CAN take it with you **

** What if today really isn’t the first day of the rest of your life?  What if tomorrow is the first day?  Would anyone ever again live like there’s no tomorrow? **

** If we are cloned, do we ever again get any ‘me-time’ or does it now become ‘we-time’? **

** Good things never come to those who sit on their asses and wait.  If you want something, you must taste it, work like hell to achieve it and then even harder to hold onto it.  **

** I notice that when I ‘eat like a pig’ I end up with much more ‘bacon’.  I wonder if that makes me a cannibal **

** Failure is not that you did not achieve your goal.  Failure is never attempting to do so in the first place.  **

** Like East Berlin, now that my wall has been torn down, I too can see and my life is much more complete.  **

** No one may plan to fail, but I guantee that if you do….you’ll achieve your goal a hell of a lot sooner! **

** Someone once said that people can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.  I say that when you alter your life, your attitude is not far behind.  **

**  It’s never too late to figure out what the hell went wrong!  **

**  Well-timed silence….catches the worm.  **

**  Everything eventually gives way to strong roots **

** Don’t you wish everything in life felt as good as that last bite you’re saving on your plate? **

** If we let the fires die, how will we keep each other warm? **

** None of us are born fearless.  Fears are driven out by our actions.  If it scares you, try it.  **

** Getting free advice is like getting kissed on the back of your head as a child.  It doesn’t hurt you, but it doesn’t do you much good either……so pay me! **

** Do actions speak louder than words?  I don’t know – I’ve heard some pretty loud words come out of my wife sometimes. **

** When someone describes something as “it’s like nothing else at all”, how do you respond?  I usually walk away. **

** These semi deep thoughts really aren’t deep, they aren’t even semi-deep…they’re like nothing else at all!  **

** What does it feel like to be an indoor plant?  Does it yearn to taste the rain or to feel sunlght not from a double paned glass ane earth not from a bag? **

** The castle is king of the man **

** Why is a ‘moron’ a stupid person and a ‘lesson’ is a period of learning or teaching?  Shouldn’t these be reversed? **

** When you’re an idiot, the possibilities really are endless. **

** What time is checkout time at the Heartbreak Hotel? **

** Many men have been known to be wise beyond their years.  I yearn to be wise beyond my fears. **

** Life is like driving in the city – it’s not about laying on the gas and driving faster, it’s about making the right lane choices and avoiding the red lights. **

**   The roads not taken never need repaving  **

**  Opportunity always knocks softly.  Regret beats you to a bloody pulp.  **

** What the hell was the baby doing in the treetop in the first place? **

** I wonder if birds dream of having hands **

** Variety may be the spice of life, but just remember that too much spice can give you stomach ulcers **

** Asstrology – the study of vain, self-important people. **

** A lot can probably be said about a person who has more bookmarks than books **

** So if you breed donkeys and moles together, do you get molasses? **

** I’m pretty sure I have magic powers.  If I sneak up on any outdoor cat and then yell “RUN”, it starts running. **

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