The Day the Earth a Stood Still (While Teaching Calculus)

Do Your Calculus or Be Destroyed!

Do Your Calculus or Be Destroyed!

All the while growing up as a young boy, I felt I was good at only one single, solitary thing; math and memorization associated with math.  My mom claims that as a two year old I could identify every card in a deck of playing cards.  I have no memory of this.

My earliest memory of thinking that I was better than most at math goes back to second grade where we played a game in class whereby the teacher would pit us up against each other in a flash card competition.  One person would move around class to each individual whereupon the teacher would show a flash card.  If the person moving around the class responded, the person would keep moving, onto the next victim.  If the person seated answered the math flash card problem first, then that person would get to rise up out of his or her chair to become the new floater.  When the floater got to me, I would always win to become the new floater.  I never lost and I recall after my moving all the way around the entire class, the teacher would make me sit down so that someone else could take a turn.

Ah….Glory days in the second grade.  🙂 Continue reading

Life Lessons in Junior High Gym Class

Pick Me, Pick Me!

Pick Me, Pick Me!

In Junior high, was there anything more humiliating, scary and so full of life lessons than the gym class?  By the time I hit high school, they had renamed it Physical Education.  Physical Education is a much better term because we received education in so many valuable lessons and life skills; life skills that we would apply in our everyday world.  I’m of course talking about things like learning how to propel myself up a 30 foot rope made of horsehair and then there was the lesson about how to obtain the self-inflicted rope burns on the inside of our thighs.  The intention of this lesson, of course, was to teach us methods of applying Vaseline to ourselves or to learn how to walk like cowboys.  I remember how proud I was the day I figured out that I could climb the rope in gym (hint: if you had skinny arms like me, the trick was to have clean sneakers able to grab the rope so your legs could do the work). Continue reading

Marriage is not for the Weak – Not Another Zombie Survival Kit

And you, do you promise to eat everyone?

And you, do you promise to eat everyone?

To quote “Sir”

“Marriage is no way of life for the weak, the selfish, or the insecure.”

Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who loved each other very much. After several years of dating, they were married.  Over time, as will happen with married people, they grew much closer to one another.  Now, growing close is a good thing.  When done right it can even approach a feeling of sanctity; all is right with the world.  On the flip side, growing closer to one another exposes weak spots, the fontanelles of the heart.  Continue reading

A Hole-in-One (is better than two in the bush)

My Second Ace

My Second Ace

I thought maybe I’d shift gears and write a story about a more recent occurrence.  My wife and I are golfers, (which is to say she’s a golfer and I golf – there’s a difference).  As this story is being published, we are enjoying the Phoenix Open together, hoping to brush shoulders with Tiger Woods.  Since a young boy, I have believed it to be very important for couples to not only have shared goals, but also to have shared activities.  There are very few women who have better hand-eye coordination than my wife.  That is to say, I’m sure there are lots of them, but I personally have never known one single woman who can attempt a sport and master it so quickly.  Continue reading