My Wife is a Linguist

El elefante es grande, muy grande

El elefante es grande, muy grande

My wife is one of those lucky people born with great core balance and hand to eye coordination.  Something most people don’t know about her though is her amazing linguistic ability.  On one of our fun vacations, a couple of friends of ours got to witness this incredible attribute firsthand.

A few years ago, we had the pleasure of rejoining a couple of friends in Cincinnati in a golf outing, benefitting Miami University (if I’m remembering this correctly).  It was fun reconnecting with old friends and it gave us a chance to reminisce on many of our past golf trips.  We’ve taken golf trips with several different couples.  They’ve always been fun trips – golf in the day, dinner, drink and laughter in the evenings.  The couple we’ve taken the most trips with have the names of Kim and Jason.


From one of many golf trips

From one of many golf trips

We’ve traveled to the Carolinas, French Lick IN and to Arizona for these mini vacations.  My wife is like Rainman where it comes to recalling details associated with golf and so I’m sure I will mess up something in this story, but I don’t ask for input or try to research these before I write them.  (Heck, maybe I’m crazy and all of these stories are just imagined).

One of the funniest memories occurring on one of these trips was one where I wasn’t even present; it was related to me right after it occurred.  It was a golf  trip to Tucson with Kim and Jason.  My wife and I have always flown separately.  It’s just a weird paranoid, pycho thing we do – if a plane goes down, the kids will still have one of us to pester.  My wife (Kim) was flying down with Jason and his Kim to Phoenix where they would pick up a rental car.  Then the plan was to drive down to Tucson to pick me up at the airport on the later flight I took.

They had time to stop for a bite so the story that I got was that they stopped at some little Mexican restaurant on the way down to Tucson.  There really aren’t too many towns on highway 10, south of Phoenix and the place they said they stopped at was just a little diner where no one spoke English.  Ah, time for Kim’s linguistic talent to shine!

Apparently they ordered some ‘chicken’ dishes that all came out a little green looking.  Hey, it tasted like chicken!  What they really wanted now was some sour cream – (maybe that would help turn the chicken to white).

Por favor…, can we have some sour cream?  (Confused look from the server)…. 

Now, let me tell you at this point that Kim had recently participated in a little Emergency Room Spanish class where they taught her to say, “el elefante es grande“.  Apparently, somewhere, someone thought it would be important to be able to walk into an emergency room and report to the trauma nurse that “the elephant is big”.  Barring any emergencies involving large pachyderms, I’m not quite certain what else was taught in that ER Spanish class.

Um…(makes cupping motions with her hands)…..”blanco?”  “Por favor?”

The demonstration worked!  Now the server knew what was needed.  She soon returned with, (drum roll please),….TA DA!  A big, giant bowl….of mayonnaise!  I told you she had skills!

An hour or more afterwards, I saw the car pull up at the airport and all three of them had big grins on their faces.  I asked what was up and all three burst out at the same time, trying to tell the story that had just occurred.  Kim, (Jason’s Kim), is one of those people who when they laugh really hard, she will cry.  She was laughing uncontrollably, in tears, so Jason had to take over as the primary storyteller.  At the restaurant, Jason said they all were laughing so hard that they just didn’t want to try again.  The mayo was not consumed.


Can mayo be subbed for sour cream?

Can mayo be subbed for sour cream?


The sour cream that never was put everyone in a great mood.  We all continued to laugh the entire trip.  In fact, all of our golf trips with this pair was a complete joy.  Stay tuned for an even bigger laugh on a separate trip, a story to be shared at a later date.

My wife can say some really funny things sometimes.  What’s really great about that is that she never gets embarrassed.  She loves laughter and has enough self confidence to be able to poke fun at herself.  I just love that about her.  I can honestly say that I love her more today than when I said “I do” and my love for her only continues to grow.  I’ve always believed that it’s important to step back every now and then, reflect and celebrate.  Ah….growing old and growing up.

So if you ever get into a serious accident and have to visit the ER or if you find yourself at a Mexican restaurant wanting a nice big bowl of sour cream, remember this simple phrase – “El elefante es grande“.

One comment on “My Wife is a Linguist

  1. […] Tucson, Arizona.  In fact, it was on this same trip that my wife showed off her linguistic skills (link) while ordering sour cream in a Mexican restaurant. This vacation trip was with a couple named Kim […]

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