Music to Our Ears – Joe Could Sleep ANYWHERE!

Joe surrounded by his little girls

Joe surrounded by his little girls

My stepfather Joe could sleep anytime and anywhere.  I used to think that was a special skill.  Now that I’m older, I realize that it’s an acquired skill given to father’s as they are beaten down by years of sleepless nights and endless days.

I Almost Met the President – My First Day at College

I felt as smart as these guys

I felt as smart as these guys

Hello everyone!  This week I am a pinch hitter for Emily who, along with Kelly, co-host a weekly blog hop called Remember the Time.

I know what most of you are thinking right now – I’m too new, I’m not good enough to co-host RTT.  You’re the rich college kids who race every year in the Little 500 and you think we Cutters aren’t good enough (for those of you who don’t get the joke, go watch Breaking Away – you won’t be sorry).  Well all I can tell you is that if you don’t like my story here, just ask Emily & Kelly for a “refund”.  I hope you have a good time feeling superior while you are laughing at my idiocy as an 18 year old.  All my stories are true – this is the story of my very first day at college in 1976 at Miami University of Ohio.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQaavQNGsMY

Now that I’m in my 50’s, I have the wonderful benefit of being able to look back and to celebrate many accomplishments – in my career, home life and education.  This is how it’s supposed to work out in America – you work your ass off and hopefully reap some benefits.  Among the educational accomplishments are a few degrees and a couple of certifications.  Yes, I gratefully can look back on these educational accomplishments…..but you sure wouldn’t have predicted that I could even successfully find the college lunchroom had you been with me on my very first day of college at Miami University of Ohio. Continue reading

Being a Paperboy – Underwear, Life Cereal & Vampire Dogs

Life - Now it's a Bargain!

Life – Now it’s a Bargain!

We ate cereal for breakfast for as long as I was a kid; cereal, Cream of Wheat, oatmeal maybe from time to time, but I remember packaged cereal the most.  Life cereal was my favorite of all time.  On a few occasions, my dad might bring home some Rice Chex from where he worked but nothing stood up to the taste of Life for me.  My mom would never buy Life.  Apparently back in the day Life was a premium brand so we had to eat Cheerios – there’s nothing cheery about eating Cheerios when you want Life.  So one week I bought my own box of Life cereal with newspaper money and hid it in my bedroom from everyone else so that only I would be able to enjoy my hard-earned fruits of labor.  Another item I remember buying was a giant 10 pack of my own tighty whitey underwear.  Money was tight in our house (read me) and it felt good to not have to wash underwear every few days.  So I bought my own and then sewed in a little blue thread so as to not get confused with my brothers’ underwear.  Continue reading

Morning Breeze – More Childhood Antics & Stinky Smells

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The west side of Hamilton, Ohio in the 60’s and 70’s had some great little shops on Main St. we kids just loved to visit.  My favorite first stop was Frederick’s Coin Shop.  Frederick was a grouchy old timer, an official numismatist, (fancy word for coin collector), and he only tolerated kids visiting his store because he figured he’d make a buck off of us one day.  He probably was a good businessman, but he sure seemed like he’d sell his own mother if she could be wrapped in a plastic case and set out for display. Continue reading

Sixth Grade – A Shocking Discovery

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My favorite elementary teacher of all time was a man named Art Adams.  Only Amy Wright, my third grade teacher, came close to rivaling the level of care and instruction doled out by Mr. Adams.  This story I am about to share touches on the dark side of Art Adams, (if he ever really had a dark side). Continue reading

Feeding the Tree – just one of many childhood embarrassments

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Every kid growing up in the Prytania alley had at least one embarrassing moment, one of those that the other kids talk and laugh about for years and one that we all can recall with vivid memory recall…everyone.  Did you ever watch the movie, A Christmas Story?  if so, then you recall the moment that Flick got his tongue stuck on the flagpole.  This is the story of one such event for Tari.  Continue reading

AD – After Dinosaurs, there were Jackalopes & Christmas Surprise

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My dad just loved to tease.  When we were little, he liked to play a question and answer game with us 3 boys.  An example:

Dad – Robbie, what is 12 times 12?  Me – 144.  Dad – right!

Dad – Steve, (Steve was only 5), what was Einstein’s theory of relativity…was it E=mc2?  Steve – yes.  Dad – very good, Steve!

Dad – ok Mike, your turn, (Mike was 4),…what famous President was the Washington Monument named after?  (pause)…..  Mike – you’re giving Steve all the easy ones!  Mike getting angry and upset…so Dad – ok, ok…here’s an easy one Mike.  What color is Washington’s white horse?  Mike – you said you would give me an easy one!!  At which point Mike’s face would get red with anger and he would storm out of the room and be upset for perhaps 10 minutes. Continue reading

What’s That Smell?

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Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s was wonderful.  Anything and everything that could harm a child and cause a legal suit today could be purchased by anyone at any age.  All you had to know was where to buy it and how you would get the money.  If we had access to an internet, I’m quite certain we would have tried to build a nuclear weapon.  One summer we figured out the ingredients for gunpowder.  Coincidentally, these same ingredients when mixed in a slightly different proportion will yield a great stink bomb.  At this point I must personally plead guilty for this particular kid-caper as it was my idea.  The additional culprits in this caper, (if I recall correctly), were Tom & Diane Mathews (read me).  There might have been a fourth involved, but I just can’t place him. Continue reading

Don’t End Up at the Bottom of a Well with a Dog Named Precious

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When you use Facebook, you accumulate Facebook friends

When you accumulate Facebook friends, you start looking at their postings and clicking on the “Like” button

When your FB friends see you “Like”ing them, they begin to feel accepted.

When your FB friends feel accepted, they become more curious about you.

When they become more curious about you, they find out your address via the internet and look you up on Google Maps and Earth.

When your FB friends become more comfortable with your living arrangements through Google Maps, they see that house for sale in your neighborhood.

When your FB friends see the house for sale in your neighborhood, they clean out their savings accounts and buy that house for sale in your neighborhood.

When your FB friends buy the house for sale in your neighborhood, they dig a deep well in the basement, buy a dog and name her “Precious” and invite you over for a special ‘house warming’ party.

When your FB friend invites you over for a house warming party, you end up at the bottom of a well in their basement, with a dog named Precious.

Don’t end up in the bottom of a well with a dog named Precious – don’t use Facebook.