The Case of the Disappearing Garbage

The previous owner of the house handed me a set of keys and then drove away.    I walked around the house searching for the big brown dumpster, but no dumpster.  I searched and searched the premises, no dumpster.  What was I going to do with my garbage?  The previous home owner had left me with their telephone number so I picked up the phone and dialed.  The old owner answered the phone and I said, “hey, where’s the big brown dumpster?”.  Silence on the other end until a reply, “who is this?”  It’s Rob, you know the new owner.  I bought your house.  “Oh…..what was your question again?”  So I asked again, “where’s the big brown know where you put your garbage”.  “Oh, you put it in the big brown can out in the garage”.  Oh..Ok, thanks.

So I did.  I put my garbage in the big brown can in the garage.  After about 4 weeks or so my wife began complaining about the smell in the garage.  “Can’t you find a big brown dumpster to put that garbage into?”  I told her that I would do that.  Tomorrow was Thursday and after work I would go out hunting for a big brown dumpster.  In the meantime, I decided to sit our brown can out by the curb on the street to help get rid of the smell in the garage, (keeping my wife happy), and also it would serve as a reminder that I needed to go find that dumpster.  Here’s where it starts to get weird, reader…..  Well, everything was fine that day; it began like all the rest.  I got in my car and drove to work as I always did and at the end of my day, I drove home.  I changed clothes and then went outside to get my brown can so I could haul it to a big brown dumpster.  The can was empty!  Someone had stolen my garbage.  Mind you, I wasn’t upset really.  I mean, we had already consumed the good stuff.  After all, this was just the stinky stuff – after all, I was merely going to store it in a big brown dumpster.  So I chuckled to myself and pulled my can back into our garage and went back into the house.  I shared the story with my wife and she smartly remarked that all the person had to do was ask – they didn’t need to sneak into the neighborhood and take the garbage without asking (good point, gotta’ hand it to my wife…she’s a sharp one).


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