The Case of the Disappearing Garbage

Now fast forward 20 years and 2 more home moves and 1 more tiny human supplied by my wife.  When we came to California, the previous home owners for the house that we purchased actually had 3 cans – all big and all green.  They explained that one was for our garbage, another was for our “green waste” (whatever that is….I guess that refers to the little disposable garments the tiny humans make green sometimes) and the third big green can was for our “recyclables”.  I haven’t quite figured out that one yet – I keep putting things into it, but they don’t ever seem to recycle…they’re still there in the same form as when I placed them into the can.  So the sixty four million dollar question – would the strange man follow us out west here in California?  Sure enough, once again he found us.  I continue to place a can on our curb and almost like clockwork, once per week it disappears.  I assume a man is stealing our garbage, but for all I know, maybe it’s a creature or an alien not of this world.  Whichever, I don’t ask questions.  Once per week I submit my garbage offering and once a week it is gone when I get home from work.

I told you that this was a creepy story.  We live in fear – what if the store we buy our groceries from goes out of business and we no longer have an offering for the man or creature or alien?  What then?  Over the past few years our garbage offering has been reduced.  The tiny humans became large humans and have left our nest in favor of their own nests.  That ‘recyclable’ green can is overflowing.  I’m hoping that I can perhaps leave it on the curb too….and maybe, just maybe the alienmancreature will accept that in place of the garbage offering.  If one day you no longer see any Facebook posts from me, you will know that the offering was rejected and that “I” have become the sacrificial garbage.

Scary, but true…..