The Fear of Rejection – The First Time I Said I Love You to Kim

Love Means....wait, what does love mean again?

Love Means….wait, what does love mean again?

Scattered within all of these little stories I’m sharing with you, there is a ‘sub story’ about the progression and development of my love affair with my wife.  The stories are in chronological order, intermittently published.  I’ll begin this one here by telling you that this is the story about telling my girlfriend Kim, (now my wife), for the very first time that I loved her.  I don’t know where the story will go.  Even though this occurred almost 40 years ago, the memory is easy enough to share.  It’s the background, the ‘noise’ if you will, that I think will take the longest for me to think through and document.  Was I scared to say I love you?  If so, why?  How far back does it go?  Am I needy, why did I always have a girlfriend, what was the reason?  Why did I feel so certain that Kim was the one?

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The Foxhunt Begins – Chasing my Wife in High School

No it's not a Crash Test Dummies poster

No it’s not a Crash Test Dummies poster

The failure on my part in late ’73, early 1974 with Betty set me back a bit. In that story (read me), I had mentioned that I had a girlfriend pretty much in every year previously. Losing Betty caused a little moping and ‘regrouping’ I guess. I went in and out of several 1-2 week relationships with girls I honestly can’t remember the names of today. I think one’s name was Sherri Hicks, but I still can’t remember the name of that girl I had to fight over (read me). There was also the fact in 1974 for a time, the only thing I had on my mind was getting pot and smoking it with a couple of ‘pot friends’. This will be a story in of itself one day.

It was 10th grade, early 1974 and the Vietnam War was finally ending – a time for new beginnings.

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