Brilliant Things Said at Evening College – My Undergraduate Education

We were on a quest of unparalleled magnitude

After I finally managed to earn my Associates Degree in the correspondence program, I took the next step towards furthering my personal journey of educational osmosis; I enrolled in one of the most prestigious evening college Bachelor of Accounting programs in Cincinnati.  Ok, you got me, it was the only evening option available to me.  But hey, I didn’t just earn a degree, the degree was just part of the deal.  Icing on the cake conversation osmosis; things I will never forget.

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Cursing Out a Complete Stranger

Ah...the Mirth Mobile!

Ah…the Mirth Mobile! (or tin can)

Have you ever lost your temper? I don’t mean – have you ever been really mad. I mean – have you ever been so mad or in a situation where all of a sudden you temporarily lose control of your thoughts and out of your mouth comes flying a wild cursing, directed at someone or at no one? You later step back and wonder – where the hell did that come from?

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I’m Only Three – (in Cicada Cycles)

A Face only a Mother Could Love

A Face only a Mother Could Love

I live in California now, but I grew up on Prytania, in Hamilton, Ohio.  When you grow up in a place like Hamilton, you grow up with cicadas.  What?  You don’t know what a cicada is?  Oh, well then, allow me to educate you.  A cicada is an insect, a big stubby-looking flying insect with big orange eyes, (many are red), and a mouth that doesn’t bite.  It makes a huge constant racket over 100 decibels in its quest to attract mates and oh, it lives underground for 17 years.  Some of them live underground for 13 years but they all live on or near tree roots until it’s time to come up from the ground, only to mate.  When they do come up from their underground roots, they arrive in ‘broods’ of thousands, sometimes millions.  They don’t bite or eat, they only suck tree sap.  If they land on you, just flick it off – it’s stupid, it just thinks you’re a tree.
I swear I’m not making this up.