The Great Nasal Spray Battle at Vacation Bible School

The real Slim Shady

Yesterday I read that Eminem was celebrating his 10th year being sober.  So glad for him and anyone who gets sober!  It got me to thinking about addictions and hard-to-break habits in general.  Someday I hope to write a story celebrating how I’ve finally kicked my bad nail biting habit….but not today.  Today I’m going to tell a tale about inheritance.  Sounds exciting, doesn’t it.  Continue reading

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The Flying Beer-Guzzling Roller Derby Girls of Easter Weekend in Phoenix

What would Easter be like without Roller Derby?

As I am writing this, Easter is quickly approaching so I am reminded of a very memorable Easter weekend.  What do golf scrambles, roller derby, the Easter Bunny and bloody noses all have in common?  If you said, “nothing”, well then you aren’t alone.  Everyone who just read that responded just as you did.  And just like you, they are wrong. You just can’t make this stuff up.  Continue reading

On the Edge of Sanity….(almost) – #2

Well it’s taken me some coaxing to encourage the ‘art department’ to produce the next creation.  The idea I shared to her was that I wanted to see a bunch of Elvis impersonators in a checkout line at a hotel.  That’s all I gave her.  We hope you enjoy.  I call this:

 

Checkout Time at the Heartbreak Hotel

 

           Thank you….thank you very much…..

Fond Memories from my Church Bowling Years

Where am I going to put all these? (especially when I start my golfing career)

 

Bowling, I really miss bowling. I don’t have enough cartilage in my left knee and I really need a good left knee for bowling.  I’m right handed and right handed bowlers need to land on their left foot when rolling the ball. Don’t believe me?  Go bowling and roll the ball down the alley with your right hand while standing only on your bent right leg.  I tried it – I looked even more goofy than I already am, (and I didn’t think it possible). If you’re a frequent visitor here then you know why my left leg is bad (here in this story).  Memories though; my bowling memories are some of my favorite. Continue reading

Kim Learns to Change her own Oil – or How to Impress the Future In-Laws

She was a beauty

 

The year was 1976. Kim and I were both 18 and had not long ago, stood together atop the Eiffel Tower, (the fake one at King’s Island), looking outward, wondering what life held for us. My first car was an old ’67 Pontiac Bonneville that, (under the supervision of my stepfather), I installed my own timing chain.  The Bonneville was a heavy duty luxury tank discarded by the military for its low gas mileage. It weighed five million pounds and would go anywhere in the snow when even the snow-clearing vehicles were sidelined.  A gas guzzling tank however, that car helped me to learn a few of the basic maintenance tasks occasionally needed to keep them running. Continue reading

On the Edge of Sanity….(almost) – #1

Today I’m thrilled to introduce you to a new feature of Growing up on Prytania – a monthly cartoon!  I’ve named it “The Edge of Sanity….(almost)” and my intention is to release a new ‘edition’ each month.  I will continue to release a story per month, (until I run out), but also there will now be a cartoon.

These are a collaboration consisting of my strange sense of humor and the artistry of my beautiful wife whom I’ve shared with you in the ‘Kim Sagas’.  You long time readers might recall that Kim began her post high school education as an Art major at Miami University of Ohio but quickly switched over to a paying gig in Nursing.  Now that she has a more relaxed schedule, I’ve coerced, (I mean convinced), her to dabble in pencil for me.

As to the general theme for these, I was always a fan of The Far Side cartoons and I recognize a hint of influence in the first few ideas I’ve floated past Kim.  Also, I’m still a huge fan of music so I suspect many of these will be related to musicians and/or lyrics (as there are many strange lyrics out there).  But who really knows where these will go….perhaps to the very edge of insanity?

We hope you enjoy these – Rob & Kim

Australian rock stars’ idea of a wild night

Correspondence School – Worth the Effort

The poor innocents – my boys

 

I really appreciate the encouragement to continue writing these little excepts from my rusty old memory bank.  Honestly, I never…..NEVER expected to be sitting here after having written 200+ real life stories! When I was young, I was a true left-brainer, a real math geek.  I mean, seriously – I could prove out a Calculus theorem in nothing flat, but put me into a literature writing class and my palms would get sweaty, my nails chewed off and a few Excedrin downed.  So I continue to amaze myself when I get excited about the prospect of writing another new story. Continue reading

Empty Packages at Christmas…..or Were They?

What do I want for Christmas? How ’bout your hand out of my crotch?

 

Well, at the time of this writing, it is nearing the ultimate season of joy, that time of year of great giving.  No, I’m not speaking of tax season.  I’m of course talking about Christmas. Continue reading

Wipe that Smile Off Your Face, Marine!

Where are my Viceroys Private?

 

I was drafted into the Marines as a child.  In fact, me and my two brothers were all in the Marines at the same time; Dad’s Marine Corp!  We served at Camp Goodman from 1963 to 1968, at which time we were released to the Prytania Alley Kid’dom.   Continue reading

The Wall of Gaylord – Riding a Unicycle and other Mediocre Accomplishments

My athletic accomplishments would look like this

 

I wrote most of this story more than two years ago but didn’t finish until now.  I held off I guess because I felt I was self defeating. But hey, every single aspect, minute or major, of everything that’s occurred in our lives, goes into the making of who we are as adults.  I promised to make an honest attempt to document all my moments of growing up, so here I go.

Continue reading