Divorce Part 2

 

Dad & Mary – I think they were happy once?

 

It’s been the better part of a year since I wrote Divorce Part 1.  Feel free to read it now if you’re new to my stories or if you just want to get re-grounded for this next account.  In Part 1, I wrote about the big night, the night my dad left the house, the night he tried using me against my mom by trying to get me to leave the house with him.  Writing the story forced me to think through the details and now with my being much older and mature, I now see things for what they really were.  I’ve come to a few more conclusions, (or conjectures), about my dad and this time period.  

The Fear of Rejection – The First Time I Said I Love You to Kim

Love Means….wait, what does love mean again?

Scattered within all of these little stories I’m sharing with you, there is a ‘sub story’ about the progression and development of my love affair with my wife.  The stories are in chronological order, intermittently published.  I’ll begin this one here by telling you that this is the story about telling my girlfriend Kim, (now my wife), for the very first time that I loved her.  I don’t know where the story will go.  Even though this occurred almost 40 years ago, the memory is easy enough to share.  It’s the background, the ‘noise’ if you will, that I think will take the longest for me to think through and document.  Was I scared to say I love you?  If so, why?  How far back does it go?  Am I needy, why did I always have a girlfriend, what was the reason?  Why did I feel so certain that Kim was the one?

More Foundry Days – Practical Joking at the Foundry in Hamilton, Ohio

Watching it can be mesmerizing, touching deadly

Mentioned in my first Foundry Days story (read me) as our sales were declining during the 80’s and we were finding ourselves with lots of free time, we all were finding ways to tease each other and entertain ourselves.  The manufacturing areas of the foundry were hot, dirty, dangerous and required very strong backs.  No practical jokes ever got played around the iron or the dangerous grinders – people could get killed.  Away from the iron was a different story.  We only had two females.  They both worked in the office.  In fact, I can only remember one female ever applying to work in the shop.  It was a bunch of guys working together and with no females there to keep us in line, the old adage ‘boys will be boys’ often played out. 

Asking Kim to Go Steady

It ID’d you as belonging to someone

The last story in the ‘Chasing Kim’ saga dealt with the first night I shared meeting the parents, watching home movies and necking in the basement.  It was a thrilling two parter so if you need to revisit them before you begin this exciting chapter, then please do.  Here are the links (Part 1)  (Part 2).  (Read me)

Sneezle-Drawing is Best Left to the Artists – Art & I Just Do Not Get Along

An octopus to some, a sneezle to me

(source – http://marissakrupen.blogspot.com/2010/03/dr-seuss-animals.html)

When I think of the two words, ‘driven’ and ‘determined’, I think that driven applies to a singular focus. Someone who is driven sets a very challenging goal and then sticks to a plan of execution until they achieve the objective. I have known people who have referred to me as driven but I like to think of myself, not as driven, but as determined. Michael Jordan was driven. Even Jim Jones was driven. I was not.

I don’t consider the goals I’ve set as being too lofty or unachievable. I do however consider myself “determined”. Webster defines the word determined as being resolute and firm, of unwavering mind. Wow, my wife describes me in this manner, but she uses a different word – “stubborn.” In my life I have established a number of objectives and goals, goals which I don’t consider out of reach for almost anyone. Once I do set a target though, I don’t stop until I reach the goal. I have always been very certain of who I am and what I can and cannot do, what I am good at and what I am not and I’ve never been afraid of taking a calculated risk.

Bucking the Pecking Order

In all neighborhood kiddoms, there was a well established pecking order which was very simple to follow – grade level.  It had been established hundreds of years ago and it helped to maintain order in the alley.  Being the oldest didn’t necessarily mean you were the strongest in the alley, but we all respected the chain of command where it came to arguments or a minor shoving match.  Never, I repeat, never did I ever witness anyone breaking this rule in the Prytania alley.  The only exceptions were family fights.  Following this rule helped us make sense of the world (and prevented riots).